First of all, I have Pandora. Back in December I added a Lil' Wayne playlist as I was in a rap kind of mood and was joking with my friend that I was going to take a "Ghetto" bath. Well I can't delete the station. I have been trying to delete this station for 6 months and it keeps coming back! Karma? I don't even know. It's like Pandora's own personal joke on my life.
Secondly, I fail at human emotions. I got in to two discussions this week over how I may or may not appropriately express emotions. I hate emotions, they get in the way and add fuel to the fire. As any other female, I am emotional but my emotions are usually that of annoyance or rage, or anger, or anything negative because as I've previously stated, I hate people.
My mother, my sister, and my two best friends are highly emotional people. Almost to the point of being over emotional. Everything is taken so personally like an attack and everything is a big deal. So clearly I don't take half of what they're upset about seriously because I'm an asshole. I'm a sarcastic person and I try to be logical and yes, when I'm upset I'll vent and get it off my chest and then come to the realization that there's nothing I can do about it now and move on with my life. With a few exceptions of course. I have gone crazy in the past when dealing with an ex-boyfriend. He's one of the reasons why I'm not pursuing relationships. I hated myself for being an emotional wreck.
But those people who tear up over a greeting card that their sister's friend's older brother's ex girlfriend's aunt sent them in the mail 3 years ago, can you not? It doesn't have anything to do with you, you didn't know them, why are you sad?
The topic I have the most trouble expressing emotions with is death. I have never been able to deal with death and I've known a lot of people who've passed away. I don't cry, I get headaches and I get sad but I don't cry. It comes off as being insensitive and It's not meant to, I just don't have the typical reaction.
Today we had to put our dog down which was sad. My parents were wreck's and I'm sad but I'm fine. My sister had the gaul to call me the other day and tell me that if our parents get upset to try and not say something snarky. Why would I tell them to suck it up and stop being sad? Does she really think that little of me? And then she proceeded to say other things against my character which naturally I tuned out until I realized how she was being a hypocrite and then I just got pissed.
Hypocrites irk me. I don't respect them and I can't take you seriously if you're not being sincere or are contradictory or hypocritical. This isn't just for other people, I apply the same standards to my own life. I get furious at myself constantly for breaking my own rules. My confidence and self-esteem is awesome!
In other news, I finished The Casual Vacancy. Started and finished Bared to You by Sylvia Day and have started A Feast for Crows by George R.R. Martin.
Next post will be more uplifting. Maybe.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Friday, June 21, 2013
A Book By Any Other Name ...
I don't know if anyone reads this or it's just for my own state of well-being to write and get things off my chest. Nevertheless, I'm going to ask for suggestions.
I'm an avid reader. I have loved the idea reading since before I could read. I used to take loads and loads of picture books to bed when I was little, look at all the pictures and make my own stories. If I did recognize a word, I'd base what I thought the story was around the few things I could decipher.
I am a nerd. Deal with it.
I love reading books that are in series or trilogies and am always sad when they come to an end. Lately I've found that the books I've been captivated by are full of drama and violence and scandal and sex. Which reading this back sounds great. However, reading the actual books I always find myself asking "Why am I reading this? This is so sad! Why can't I find a happy book?" Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the novels which is why I keep reading them.
This is where the suggestions come in. If anyone who happens to stumble upon this has a suggestion for a more upbeat story I could read, please let me know! Or any books you think that are worth checking out.
As for me, I'll leave you with my current reading endeavor. The Casual Vacancy by J.K Rowling. If you're a J.K. Rowling fan, I suggest you read it just because of how drastically different it is from Harry Potter. Gives you a sense of how magnificent and complex of a writer she really is.
I'm an avid reader. I have loved the idea reading since before I could read. I used to take loads and loads of picture books to bed when I was little, look at all the pictures and make my own stories. If I did recognize a word, I'd base what I thought the story was around the few things I could decipher.
I am a nerd. Deal with it.
I love reading books that are in series or trilogies and am always sad when they come to an end. Lately I've found that the books I've been captivated by are full of drama and violence and scandal and sex. Which reading this back sounds great. However, reading the actual books I always find myself asking "Why am I reading this? This is so sad! Why can't I find a happy book?" Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the novels which is why I keep reading them.
This is where the suggestions come in. If anyone who happens to stumble upon this has a suggestion for a more upbeat story I could read, please let me know! Or any books you think that are worth checking out.
As for me, I'll leave you with my current reading endeavor. The Casual Vacancy by J.K Rowling. If you're a J.K. Rowling fan, I suggest you read it just because of how drastically different it is from Harry Potter. Gives you a sense of how magnificent and complex of a writer she really is.
Friday, June 14, 2013
#Hashtags
When did hashtags take over? I understand their purpose and when used correctly helps group together an idea or a topic, but now... hashtags are out of control.
Twitter- Hashtags are used to help start trending topics. Usually.
Tumblr- Hashtags are used to tag the post so people can look for similar posts. Usually.
Telephone- It's a pound sign. You use it when you're trying to get your voicemail. Usually.
The "Ironic Use"- Hashtags are used to just be an asshole but in a joking, sarcastic manner.
EXAMPLE: #OMG #YOLO #FML #howmanyhashtagscanIputbeforepeoplegetannoyed #LOL
Instagram- Hashtags are used similarly to how they're used on Tumblr, but to find pictures. Usually.
But now Facebook? Really? I don't even know what the point of having a Facebook hashtag is. They made them to pop up like a link, but what are they linking to? I'm convinced that Zuckerburg is just riding that gravy train to the latest fad and decided to add them to his repetoire. Want to know when something stops being cool? You see it on Facebook.
Now when I want to tell people who don't actually care about my life about my "status" I can go a step further and annoy them even more.
EXAMPLE: "It's so sunny out today! Working on my tan. #summer #tanning #yourejealous"
NO!
Twitter- Hashtags are used to help start trending topics. Usually.
Tumblr- Hashtags are used to tag the post so people can look for similar posts. Usually.
Telephone- It's a pound sign. You use it when you're trying to get your voicemail. Usually.
The "Ironic Use"- Hashtags are used to just be an asshole but in a joking, sarcastic manner.
EXAMPLE: #OMG #YOLO #FML #howmanyhashtagscanIputbeforepeoplegetannoyed #LOL
Instagram- Hashtags are used similarly to how they're used on Tumblr, but to find pictures. Usually.
But now Facebook? Really? I don't even know what the point of having a Facebook hashtag is. They made them to pop up like a link, but what are they linking to? I'm convinced that Zuckerburg is just riding that gravy train to the latest fad and decided to add them to his repetoire. Want to know when something stops being cool? You see it on Facebook.
Now when I want to tell people who don't actually care about my life about my "status" I can go a step further and annoy them even more.
EXAMPLE: "It's so sunny out today! Working on my tan. #summer #tanning #yourejealous"
NO!
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Fandoms
I, like most people in today's society, am a member of certain fandoms. If you don't know what a fandom is then you should probably get off the internet. I mean really? Do you live under a rock?
But I digress. Certain members of certain fandoms always have to take matters to the extremes and go just a bit too far. This results in stalking, cyber-stalking, bullying, NSFW fanfiction and any other form of general creepiness imaginable. These individuals tend to be generalized until the whole fandom is thought to be relatively crazy. Think of us what you will, I don't care too much. I like what I like and the extent to which I like something has never bordered on crazy to my standards. I have a degree in Psychology so I feel like I know when too far is too far.
What bothers me about fandoms is when they feel threatened. Most of these groups of people find each other on social media platforms and once someone causes drama, it tends to implode the internet for a few hours. Everyone assumes something and blows it out of proportion and soon, they end up causing distress to the person, or people involved who or what their fandom is based around.
Then there are the people who say something just to be like "OMG guys, this is so dumb. Ur arguing over nothing and its stupid so u should just shut up." Yeah... This doesn't help. They end up getting hate comments and inevitably prolonging the discussion.
Another problem I have is how these individuals (who lack moral fiber and a sense of privacy) choose to justify posting personal information and photos and videos that clearly the source has said or done something to make it hard to find. We forget that celebrities on any scale, are people. They have private lives and if they don't want to share with us, they don't have to. Or if at one point in time they tweeted something, posted a status, or a picture; it doesn't mean that's how they feel or act now.
People are constantly growing and learning and developing. No one is in the same situation today as they were a few years or even a few months ago. As situations change, people adapt. Don't go digging up things from the past that are no long relevant just to prove a point and be a nuisance. How would you like it if someone dug up an old photo of you and plastered it all over for the world to see when you deliberately tried to make it hard to find?
Yes, we are curious and interested about the lives of those we idolize or fancy. We can continue to do so however, try to be respectful about it.
I could go on about this all day so I'll end it here. Moral of this post:
Come on fandoms. Get your shit together. Just let the drama die. Respect people's privacy. Don't be that asshole.
But I digress. Certain members of certain fandoms always have to take matters to the extremes and go just a bit too far. This results in stalking, cyber-stalking, bullying, NSFW fanfiction and any other form of general creepiness imaginable. These individuals tend to be generalized until the whole fandom is thought to be relatively crazy. Think of us what you will, I don't care too much. I like what I like and the extent to which I like something has never bordered on crazy to my standards. I have a degree in Psychology so I feel like I know when too far is too far.
What bothers me about fandoms is when they feel threatened. Most of these groups of people find each other on social media platforms and once someone causes drama, it tends to implode the internet for a few hours. Everyone assumes something and blows it out of proportion and soon, they end up causing distress to the person, or people involved who or what their fandom is based around.
Then there are the people who say something just to be like "OMG guys, this is so dumb. Ur arguing over nothing and its stupid so u should just shut up." Yeah... This doesn't help. They end up getting hate comments and inevitably prolonging the discussion.
Another problem I have is how these individuals (who lack moral fiber and a sense of privacy) choose to justify posting personal information and photos and videos that clearly the source has said or done something to make it hard to find. We forget that celebrities on any scale, are people. They have private lives and if they don't want to share with us, they don't have to. Or if at one point in time they tweeted something, posted a status, or a picture; it doesn't mean that's how they feel or act now.
People are constantly growing and learning and developing. No one is in the same situation today as they were a few years or even a few months ago. As situations change, people adapt. Don't go digging up things from the past that are no long relevant just to prove a point and be a nuisance. How would you like it if someone dug up an old photo of you and plastered it all over for the world to see when you deliberately tried to make it hard to find?
Yes, we are curious and interested about the lives of those we idolize or fancy. We can continue to do so however, try to be respectful about it.
I could go on about this all day so I'll end it here. Moral of this post:
Come on fandoms. Get your shit together. Just let the drama die. Respect people's privacy. Don't be that asshole.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
I Dislike People
I consider myself a selectively social person. I thoroughly enjoy being on my own and don't often find myself saying "I wish I was out with (insert name here)". Don't get me wrong, I like going out to social events and behaving unleashed, but if I'm with certain people for an extended period of time, I find I can't be bothered and end up preferring to be left to my own devices.
The worlds I encounter in books or shows or movies are often more to my liking than anything reality has in store for me. If I want to just pick up and leave, I don't have to worry about money, travel arrangements, destinations. Characters always find someone who is willing to help. That doesn't happen in real life.
At the moment, I'm living at my parent's house. Not ideal. My mother is an extremely social person and does not like doing things by herself. This then gets thrown upon other people because since she doesn't like to be alone, she thinks others also want the company. Today, for example, I thought it'd be polite to inform her that I was going on a walk around the neighborhood. This simple act ended up putting a damper on the rest of my afternoon.
Mother decided she too would like to go for a walk and asked if I would like her to join. Since I'm such a cheerful person I responded with "Not particularly, but if you want to". Any other person would have taken this moment to bow out, but not mother. Then she complains that I walk too fast. Then she doesn't want to go on the route I normally take because it's too much for her which is fine so we go the other way. We don't even get to the end of the road and she strikes up a conversation with Bill.
I've never seen Bill before, I've never spoken to Bill. Meeting Bill has in no way bettered my life.
Thirty minutes later, the conversation ends and by this point I have made little effort to involve myself with what they were talking about. My only contribution was to tell Bill that I hate people and that don't value much of what they say because it's usually nonsense. Mother finally took the hint that I didn't want to be there. After standing for a half hour awkwardly playing Uno on my phone, I suggested we just go back home.
A waste of a nice walk.
If I don't want to talk to someone, I won't talk to them. This isn't me trying to be rude or anti-social, this is just my personality. If I had met Bill in another circumstance I would have probably been more polite or outgoing. Or if they had a topic of conversation that I had any knowledge about.
I'm much more relaxed in online interactions
The worlds I encounter in books or shows or movies are often more to my liking than anything reality has in store for me. If I want to just pick up and leave, I don't have to worry about money, travel arrangements, destinations. Characters always find someone who is willing to help. That doesn't happen in real life.
At the moment, I'm living at my parent's house. Not ideal. My mother is an extremely social person and does not like doing things by herself. This then gets thrown upon other people because since she doesn't like to be alone, she thinks others also want the company. Today, for example, I thought it'd be polite to inform her that I was going on a walk around the neighborhood. This simple act ended up putting a damper on the rest of my afternoon.
Mother decided she too would like to go for a walk and asked if I would like her to join. Since I'm such a cheerful person I responded with "Not particularly, but if you want to". Any other person would have taken this moment to bow out, but not mother. Then she complains that I walk too fast. Then she doesn't want to go on the route I normally take because it's too much for her which is fine so we go the other way. We don't even get to the end of the road and she strikes up a conversation with Bill.
I've never seen Bill before, I've never spoken to Bill. Meeting Bill has in no way bettered my life.
Thirty minutes later, the conversation ends and by this point I have made little effort to involve myself with what they were talking about. My only contribution was to tell Bill that I hate people and that don't value much of what they say because it's usually nonsense. Mother finally took the hint that I didn't want to be there. After standing for a half hour awkwardly playing Uno on my phone, I suggested we just go back home.
A waste of a nice walk.
If I don't want to talk to someone, I won't talk to them. This isn't me trying to be rude or anti-social, this is just my personality. If I had met Bill in another circumstance I would have probably been more polite or outgoing. Or if they had a topic of conversation that I had any knowledge about.
I'm much more relaxed in online interactions
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Hello-atus
After several years of noncommittal blogging on various websites, here is my not-so-long awaited return on-yet again-another source of social media. I've missed traditional, journal-esque style of writing and since literally no one knows of this, I can actually get personal without fear of being exploited.
Whether or not I have anything of substance to write about is another matter entirely. Bear with me.
For now, this is all that is necessary to know:
Whether or not I have anything of substance to write about is another matter entirely. Bear with me.
For now, this is all that is necessary to know:
- I'm extremely short
- Life experience has made me rather bitter
- I'm sarcastic to a fault
- I live in a desolate town that I'm trying to escape from in the next few months
Stay tuned.
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